What Is Going On?

Hi everyone! I hope that things are going well for you. It's been quite some time so I thought I'd give an update on what's going on with me.

As I said in my last blog, I have been struggling with some mental health issues for quite some time, and was able to go see a psych for an evaluation in September. I was hoping that I would get some answers, but honestly, it left me feeling more confused and lost, and sent me into a spiral even worse than before.

She tested me for ADHD because it runs in my family, and I have a hard time focusing on things, starting / finishing tasks, and transitioning from one task to another, and the results came back that I have ADHD symptoms but "not enough to warrant a diagnosis"... When I tried to talk to her about it, she said "you're too smart to have ADHD" which is not a real thing. My grandfather was in the navy and worked with nuclear stuff and he has ADHD... Similarly, my other test results came back the same. That basically there were no real answers for why I am the way that I am, and that I "just needed more therapy and possibly an antidepressant and/or anti-anxiety meds"... I tried to tell her that therapy doesn't help, and the antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds make me worse, but she brushed me off.

So I spent a bunch of time and money to be told there's nothing wrong with me, but I know that there is. I can't keep and maintain a job because of my mental health issues... All my relationships are strained or unhealthy because of my mental health issues... That's not just nothing. But apparently according to the professional, it is... 

I have considered trying to get a second opinion but most of the psychs around my area that take my insurance are either not taking new patients, or they have a 6+ month waiting period, or they straight up just don't call you back when you leave a message. 

I've been really depressed over this, and haven't really done anything in the CK. Though, I am slowly starting to get the creative bug again, and feeling the urge to make something. So hopefully soon. Maybe after Christmas, because things get crazy around my house during this season...

I hope that everyone has a lovely, safe holiday season.